For
Men, About Rape:
The Reality Page
a
word:
real world
For
us, Fantasy is fine. In our minds, anything goes.
We
can role-play and explore fantasies in privacy and with safety. This
is obvious, but it is taking a while to sink in for an older mentality
not yet comfortable or tuned to the exponential growth and change on
the Internet, with even more changes ahead.
The
fact that we can and do image ourselves in cyberspace as anyone or anything
does not need to be explained to a generation raised on video games
and role-playing and the WWW. This ceaseless ubiquitous cybernetic reality
of the Internet and that is now a given - only its effects and future
directions are now the subject of intense debate.
Over
the next 100 years, the increasingly blurred divide between the cyberspace
on one hand and psychological or social space on the other will be nothing
less than revolutionary, according to thinkers like Ray Kurzweil (The
Age of Spiritual Machines, 1999).
Think
of wetware (your brain) enchanced by info-bots smaller than bloodcells,
made to connect directly to the synapses via nanotechnology. Think
of computers reaching human brainpower by 2020 and passing the Turing
Test (by which a human cannot determine if the intelligence he is communicating
with cybernetically is artificial or human) and moving on beyond this.
Think of a Virtual Reality that feels very real, generated from one's
own synapses: what law there?
Meanwhile,
back in the Real World...
Isn't
this obvious already: There is a difference between having a fantasy
all by ourselves in front of a computer, magazine, or video and acting
one out, just as there is a difference between reading (or writing)
yet another best-seller about a serial killer and being a serial killer.
The
obvious, stated as baldly as possible: In
the real world, non-consensual sex is a crime. Rape is about hatred,
power, and anger. It is not even sex.
While
we stand strongly against censorship and support the right of an individual
to have private fantasies, extremefiles.com and also Domi,
Lila & Scorpio personally, morally, and ethically are TOTALLY against
any cruelty done to another living being.
If
you are seeking "real" rape or torture pics, beastiality, or ANYTHING
involving minors, you are in the wrong place. The photos, videos and
stories within depict rape-fantasy scenes by enthusiastic amateurs or
professional actors.
Responsible
Sex
91/2 Weeks
Anyone?
We
support responsible sex. In rough sex-play always use "safe words" and
remember that in real life "No" means NO!
You
may be surprised to know that many of extremefiles.com members are female,
and though they may have submissive fantasies, the thought of actual
rape rather than "play-rape" is horrifying and repugnant.
Personally,
we and our Master Scorpio prefer sex. If you wish to know the ethics
and etiquette of an experienced dominant, you must find one and study
the art. But Scorpio can tell you this:
A
Master is one who has mastered himself
or herself. Consider the rarity of such a person.
A
true Submissive is very powerful. She (or
he) has the nature of a devotee or bhakta who has the power to surrender
to the point of merging into the Master.
Awe,
respect, and self-control are not the end; these requisites are the
beginning of the attainment of Sexual Mastery
or Sublime Submission.
If
you feel irrationally angry or compelled and fear you might act out
on some fantasy in the criminal sense without a partner's mutual consent,
please seek
counsel
before you commit this crime.
For
Men: About Rape
It
is imperative that men accept the responsibility to not harm another
person.
It
is never OK for force yourself on a woman, even if you think she
was teasing you or leading you on she
says "no" and you think she means "yes"
you've
had sex with her before you've
paid for her dinner or given her expensive gifts you
think women enjoy being forced to have sex or want to be persuaded
the
woman is under the influence of alcohol or drugs.
|
| Rape
is a crime of violence. It is motivated primarily be desire
to control and dominate, rather than by sex. It is illegal. |
| If
you are getting a double message from a woman, speak up and clarify
what she wants. If you find yourself in a situation with a
woman who is unsure about having sex or is saying "no,"
back off. Suggest talking about it. |
| Do
not assume you know what your partner wants; check out your assumptions. |
| Be
sensitive to women who are unsure whether they want to have sex.
If you put pressure on them, you may be forcing them. |
| Do
not assume you both want the same degree of intimacy. She
may be interested in some sexual contact other than intercourse.
There may be several kinds of sexual activity you mutually agree
to share. |
| Stay
in touch with your sexual desires. Ask yourself if you are
really hearing what she wants. Do not let your desires control
your actions. |
| Communicate
your sexual desires honestly and as early as possible. |
| If
you have any doubts about what your partner wants, STOP, ASK, CLARIFY. |
| Your
desires may be beyond your control, but your actions are within
your control. Sexual excitement does not justify forced sex. |
| Do
not assume her desire for affection is the same desire for intercourse. |
| Not
having sex or not "scoring" does not mean you are not
a "real man." It is OK not to "score." |
| A
woman who turns you down for sex is not necessarily rejecting you
as a person; she is expressing her decision not to participate in
a single act at that time. |
| No
one asks to be raped. No matter how a woman behaves, she does
not deserve to have her body used in ways she does not want. |
| "No"
means no. If you do not accept a woman's "no," you
might risk raping someone whom you thought meant "yes." |
| Taking
sexual advantage of a person who is mentally or physically incapable
of giving consent (for example, drunk) is rape. If a woman
has had too much to drink and has passed out, or is not in control
of herself, having sex with her is rape. |
| The
fact that you were intoxicated is not a legal defense to rape.
You are responsible for your actions, whether you are sober or not. |
|
Be
aware that a man's size and physical presence can be intimidating
to a woman. Many victims report that the fear they felt
based on a man's size and presence was the reason they did not
fight back or struggle.
Note:
Men can be victims of rape and have the same rights to counseling
and legal action as women do.
|
| from: |
"Friends
Raping Friends"
Project on the Status and Education of Women,
Association of American Colleges. April, 1987
from
http://www.rape101.com/handouts/for_men_about_rape.htm
No Copyright (freely reproducible) unless otherwise noted.
|
Rape Fact Sheet
from
Rape101.com
An
estimated 683,000 adult women are raped each year. (Natl. Women's Study
1990)
Every
minute in the U.S., there are 1.3 forcible rapes of adult women. (Natl.
Victim Center 1992)
78
women are raped each hour. (Natl. Victim Center 1992) Up to 85% of rapes
go unreported. (Natl. Women's Study 1990)
29%
of all forcible rapes in America occurred when the victim was less than
11-years-old. (Natl. Victim Center 1992)
61%
of all rapes occurred before the victim reached 18. (Natl. Women's Study
1990)
Approximately
75% of rapes are committed by someone the victim knows. (Natl. Women's
Study 1990)
Of
the cases of forcible rape reported in 1993, only 53% led to the arrest
of the alleged perpetrator. (1994 FBI report to Natl. Victim Center)
There
were approximately 30,000 sexual assaults of males, ages 12 and over,
in the U.S. in 1993. (Criminal Victimization in the U.S. report to Bureau
of Justice 1994)
98%
of rapists are men. 66% of rapists are White, 30% are Black and 4% are
other races. (Report of Felony Sentences in State Courts to the Bureau
of Justice 1992)
The
rate of recidivism among recently released sex offenders from a psychiatric
prison was approximately 76%. (Journal of Interpersonal Violence, Vol.
10 1995)
The
average sentence for a rapist is 17 years in prison, the actual time
served is approximately 8 years. (U.S. Dept. of Justice 1995)
Out
of 1.8 million severe assaults against women in 1991, 45,000 of them
were marital rapes. (U.S. Dept. of Justice 1992).